She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
