An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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