He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
