Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
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