do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
If I had your ass I would rule the world
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
