The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
