Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
