so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
