I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
