So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
