WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
