The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
