I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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