oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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