WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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