DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
