Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
