She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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