You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
