the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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