i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
