Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
