Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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