I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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