Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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