Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
