her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
