Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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