i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
