watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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