I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
