You're so nebulous sometimes
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
