I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
