ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
my poor anus
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
