therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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