Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
