Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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