Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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