In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
This is my gift to your gina
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
