somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
