Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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