he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
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