i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
