I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
