If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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