Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I want to fling myself into the sun
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
