I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Randomize
