STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
At least make sure they are 18
Why
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
