Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
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