I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
